First Jessica Simpson posts some pseudo-intellectual nonsense about how she’s reading about Michaelangelo, and now Britney Spears is trying to get us to understand the “real” her.  What’s up with celebrities taking to their websites to post rambling entries about stupid crap to show how “deep” they are?  Anyways, Britney wrote a long post on her website detailing what’s she’s been going through and how she thinks she is taking control of her life.  She writes:

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don’t think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn’t know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.

Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants.

I have had to cut so many people out of my life.

I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter…to maybe allow people to look at me differently.

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time.

She goes on and on a bit more.  I don’t think she wrote this herself.  I am almost certain she had an assistant or her cousin Allie write it for her.  She probably just told them “I need y’all to go on the interwebs and write a letter to my fans.”  Then she went to take a nap.  I can totally picture it.

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Nicole Richie sent out a mass email inviting folks to her Memorial Day party.  Aww, isn’t that nice of her?  Not quite, it seems.  In the email she warns that there will be a scale outside the door and no girls over 100 lbs. will be allowed inside.  Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I doubt it is.  She just seems that bitchy.

This is also the same party where apparently Mischa Barton got so drugged up she thought she was dying and had to be taken to a hospital.  Sounds like a good time…NOT!

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Lily Allen confesses that she was kicked out of school when her teachers caught her giving male classmates blowjobs.   She tells Rollingstone:

I was doing things with boys that I shouldn’t have been doing at such a young age…I was doing blow-jobs…I don’t want to get into it.  It was not good.

Lily goes on to say that her parents didn’t give a fuck.

The didn’t care…They’re products of the 60s, they’re bang up for a bit of that.

Damn!  So she was that kid in school, eh?  I didn’t peg her for it.  I wonder how old she was.   Anything younger than 16 and it’s just nasty.  Actually it’s just nasty any way you look at it.  School is for learning, kids!  And not that kind of learning either.

Read a book.

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Here’s Angelina Jolie taking sons Maddox and Pax out for a fun time at France’s Marineland. Poor little Maddox has to stand in the back while new kid on the block, Pax, gets to feed the whales.

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Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kournikova have split after 5 years together.  He hinted that his hesitance to commit and have kids might have had something to do with it.  He says:

We’ve split. I’m single now and it’s OK. I don’t mind being single.

I’m not ready for children.  I don’t feel like taking on such a responsibility yet. But in the future I’d like two children.

I honestly didn’t even know they were together.  I guess when you got an album to promote, the confessions come pouring out.

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It’s been a busy 24 hours for Lindsay Lohan. First she crashes her Mercedes onto a curb on Sunset Boulevard, then her sponsors for her 21st birthday party, Svedka vodka, drop her ass after her D.U.I for said incident, and now she’s heading back to rehab.

Lindsay will be checking into Promises in Malibu on Sunday. She recently completed a 30 day stint at Wonderland rehab facility in February but I guess they didn’t do too great of a job, obviously, so she’s switching facilities.

However at Teddy’s nightclub on Saturday night, Lindsay was back to her partying ways and sources said she told them she don’t give a fuck about the consequences of the po po finding cocaine in her car after her accident.

This ho better get herself in check, because those movie roles will stop coming, and she’ll have to resort to throwing parties for herself to support her partying lifestyle. But then again, she just lost her sponsor, so that might not work either. Oh well, she doesn’t seem too worried. Here are some photos of her and Samantha Ronson after her partying on Saturday night. She looks so haggard.

30 days sober my ass.. How you going to try to pretend you sober when you hanging out with Lohan. Either you have some kind of superhuman will power, or you lying.

Source: X17 online

Brandy is fighting back against the wrongful death lawsuits filed against her stemming from a December 30th accident where she killed 38-year-old Awatef Aboudihaj with her Range Rover.  Abudihaj’s parents, husband, and representatives of her two children have all filed a wrongful death suit against Brandy.  Her husband states in his suit that he is suing her for the loss of “support, maintenance, solace, moral support, companionship and comfort” that his “faithful and dutiful” spouse provided him.

Brandy thinks this ain’t true.  In her own court filings, she denies the allegations.

This answering defendant specifically denies each and every allegation in the complaint and further denies that plaintiffs have been damaged in any sum or sums whatsoever.

Bitch please.  I think she damaged them by taking away their daughter, wife, and mother. I mean, I can feel for her because no one wants to take a person’s life, and I’m sure she’s got to live with that for the rest of her life, but she also need to pay up because she know she fucked up, and taking a life is no joke.  I mean doesn’t the guilt just make you feel obligated anyways?

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Lindsay Lohan was cited on suspicion of DUI on Saturday when her Mercedes SL65 hit a curb at 5:30 a.m. on Sunset Boulevard. Investigators said no other cars were involved, but Lohan suffered minor injuries and was admitted at a local hospital.

Lohan, who is a member of Alcoholic’s Anonymous, will have to appear in court for the citation.

This is not the first time Ms. Lohan has been involved in a car accident. In October 2005, she had a head on collision when her Mercedes SL-65 (damn that car has been through a lot) crashed into a van in West Hollywood, and she fled the scene. Earlier that year in June, she was involved in another accident when a paparazzi crashed into her in order to get photos.

Can someone take away her license already? This woman is dangerous, and it’s only a matter of time before she seriously hurts someone. For reals.

Update: Things are looking worse for Lohan.  At a press conference, Lt. Mitch McCann said cocaine was found in the car Lohan was driving.  She is now facing criminal charges.

Bitch is in deep shit. First Paris, now Lindsay; is it a trend to be facing prison time now?  Are they trying to out do each other on the depravity scale?

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I did not know this, but apparently 50 Cent is partial owner of Glaceau, the company that makes the Vitamin Water drinks, and Coca-Cola has just bought the company for $4.1 billion. He stands to make $400 million from his portion of the company.

50 bought stakes in the company in 2004 with money he made off his multi-platinum albums. At the time, he turned down several offers liquor companies, saying: “I grew up around alcoholics. Why would I drink?” , and invested in Glaceau instead. Turns out that was a smart move.

Say what you will about this guy, his raps and his petty beefs, but he is definitely a good businessman. I mean $400 million is no joke. Jay-Z are you paying attention?

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Remember when I wrote about Paula Abdul breaking her nose  tripping over her chihuahua right before the “American Idol” finale,  and then she turned up on TV with nary a scratch or a swollen nose or any other sign of a broken nose?  Well Page Six is reporting that she might not have broken her nose at all, and it was all a big cover up.  A source says:

Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula’s nose didn’t seem swollen.

I can totally believe it, because Paula is bonkers.  Her reps completely deny it, though, but what else did you expect?